When she was 15, my eldest daughter, Maire, getting ready for Confirmation, volunteered for the Children’s Liturgy at our parish. Small children would file out of mass with cute music just before the readings. They would be led into a little side room where volunteers read the Gospel to them in a way they could understand. My daughter, Maire loved little kids. She was perfect for this ministry. She loved little kids she met or played with so much she would write their names on her notebooks with hearts and other designs equally sweet.
She came in to teach the kids when it was her turn. It was nearing the end of Advent. The adults looked nervous when this little goth girl came in to work with the kids. The first thing she did is ask them what they wanted for Christmas and let them talk about that. Then she asked them, “What does Jesus want for Christmas? It’s his birthday! What do you think he would like best?” Visible relief on adult faces around the room.
But this is a really good question. What does he want? I think one thing leads to another and covers everything and that’s “making time to be alone with the One who [you] know loves [you.”] (St. Teresa of Avila). I think this because making that time, being with him, leads us to all of the other things he likes, such as transformation in him, generosity, love that leads to service. He wants YOU for Christmas.
As Mother Teresa of Calcutta wrote:
The fruit of Silence is Prayer. The fruit of Prayer is Faith. The fruit of Faith is Love. The fruit of Love is Service. The fruit of Service is Peace.
When we make time to be alone and quiet with the One Who we know loves us, our faith is deepened as we come to know Jesus more intimately. Love expands in us as we cultivate a deeper relationship with him, and this love pours out naturally in service.
So what does Jesus want for Christmas? You, of course. Your time, your love, your attentiveness, your quiet heart (yes you can have a quiet heart), your receptivity to him.
Do we have to pray at Church to carve out this time for Jesus? In the presence of the Blessed Sacrament is always a great place to pray. However, no. Anywhere you can be alone for a while is good.
As someone who was a single parent for many years, I know how hard it can be to find any alone time. You can, though. You just have to be creative and flexible that’s all. He can work withy whatever time you have. You can pray in the car if you arrive early somewhere. I love it when I am ten minutes early. Since I have social anxiety it helps a lot to get someplace early and take that time to sit with Jesus for a while before dealing with people.
I confess I also hid in the tree house sometimes once the kids were older. Just for a while. I could still hear them.
I did all this getting up early so I had time to pray, or staying up late to do so, or praying in silence on my break at work because once you get in the habit of silent prayer, it’s something you want very much to do. I cherished that time with Jesus, even if out of necessity it had to be short.
After a while I came to love prayer because I knew he wanted me there. He really was the One who I knew loved me and it made him happy for me to stop what I was doing and set aside time for him.
St. Teresa of Avila said that if we can get into the habit of the Prayer of recollection we will “attain what we desire in six months.” What do we desire from prayer? What do we long for most from God?
I love this quote from the poet Hafiz
Ask the Friend for love.
Ask him again.
For I have learned that every heart will get
What it prays for
Most.
I think we are made for love and we know God is love. Any trouble we could take to give the Lord our time is infinitely worth it. As St. Teresa says, “life is like a night at a bad inn.” But Jesus is forever.
So go into your room, shut the door, and pray to your Father in secret. The Son and the Holy Spirit will come and live with you.
*I am including a guide to the Prayer of Recollection I wrote some years ago. My new little book about the Prayer of Recollection is out right now, Meeting the One Who loves you; the way of prayer of St. Teresa of Avila, and available from Our Sunday Visitor Bookstore as well as Amazon and Barnes and Noble or whatever you buy books.
One of the best tools I have ever found to form new habits is the book Atomic Habits by James Clear
I am quite neuron-divergent in several ways and forming a new habit is sooooooo difficult for me. My favorite idea from that book was to commit to two minutes daily to this new thing you want to start doing. You won’t be overwhelmed by two minutes at all for anything. It won’t see like such a big deal to you to sit down with Jesus for only two minutes at the same time each day. Stay with the two minutes until you are into the swing of it and then you’re off! Start adding to it little by little.
How long should you pray? My personal goal has always been thirty minutes at a time daily. After years of the practice of interior prayer, it’s not a big deal to pray that long. In fact I add in little snippets of it where I can through the day. I think of them like flowers tucked into a rock wall here and there with a little moss. You have the nice strong wall at the cornerstone of your 30 minutes of interior prayer, and then these pretty little flowers modestly adorning it; your few minutes here and there in the car in a parking lot, between jobs, a few minutes before bed, or after evening prayer or after mass.
The rewards of this little habit are like water to the soul. All your other practices of faith are immeasurably deepened. Your faith will mean more to you than ever and not in a weird way that makes you annoying to other people, but in a way that flows out with honest love to everything and everyone in your life. Most of all it makes the Lord so happy and you will grow so much closer to him.
As St. John of the Cross wrote, “In the evening of your life you will be judged on love; so love, the way God wants, and leave off your own way of acting.” This makes me chuckle a little. We all have our own little ideas about what is the most holy thing to do and sometimes it’s not what we thought. He seems to like the simple things. “Sit down with me, and let yourself be loved.” Or as our St. Teresa said, “I am only asking you to look at him.”
Come, and you will see. Advent is the perfect time for this; to cherish Jesus within you as Mary did, to ponder the Lord in our hearts, to reflect him as she did, love him as she did. Right here. It’s the perfect gift.
“We need no wings to go in search of Him, but have only to look upon Him present within us.”
St. Teresa teach me how to find Jesus within myself where you say he is enthroned in the center of my heart. Show me how to go within, to see his beauty, know his tenderness. You overcame impediments from the world, and reluctance of your own, to seek him and keep him company with growing love and joy. Lead me in the first steps onto the Royal Road of prayer meant for me, so that I may walk in the glow of your lamp held high to light my way.
Pray now a slow, attentive Our Father.
Day 2 The Sacred Humanity of Jesus
“Never set aside the Sacred Humanity of Christ. To do so is to lose your anchor.”
We are not Angel spirits as St. Teresa pointed out. We are human. We need a hug. We need to know that Jesus had and has hands and feet, had to blow his nose sometimes, that he sweated over his work, that his feet were often dirty in his sandals from all that walking he did, that he cried, that he laughed that he needed his friends as well as time alone. He knows all the stars by name but he also knows and cares about every tear we shed. He is glory beyond glory but when he takes our hands we can feel that they are work roughened and warm. You can trace your thumb along the deep scar in his palm.
Let yourself be captured by his eyes; dark and lovely. Ask him now: Jesus be real to me.
Day 3: Friendship with Christ
“It is a great thing to have experienced the friendship of Jesus Christ, because the friendship of His Majesty is full of love and reward.”
St. Teresa’s spirituality is rooted in friendship with Jesus, which implies intimacy, informality, and mutuality. She cautioned us not to be irreverent toward the Lord. She often called him “Your Majesty” when she spoke to him. At the same time she had a complete trust in his love and regard for her as his friend, his dear friend, a friend he trusted and loved to be with. She loved him back in a deeply personal way. She strove to bring her loving attentiveness to his presence into all that she did throughout the day, and to make time to be alone with him in conversation or sweet silence.
Jesus no longer calls us servants but friends. Try thinking of him as the Friend who you know loves you and who you love back.
Make friends with Jesus. Teresa says the best way to start is to ask him humbly for his friendship.
Here he is. Ask him now.
Day 4: Come into the castle of your soul
“I began to think of the soul as if it were a castle made of a single diamond or of very clear crystal, in which there are many rooms, just as in Heaven there are many mansions.”
“The door of entry into this castle is prayer and meditation.”
Oh Teresa what a beautiful vision you had of what I look like inside and Who lives there!
Help me to find my way to the Lord within. Show me how to open the beautiful doors of my heart to see the One I love so intensely. I want to sit at his feet. I want to be in his arms against his Sacred Heart listening to its beating.
Call to me Lord, draw me, help me to love you truly, to be all yours, to listen to you, know you, to walk through the rooms of the castle seeking your hand.
Let me hear your voice and see your face for your voice is sweet and your face is beautiful.
Day 5 Solitude and silence
”Settle yourself in solitude, and you will
come upon him in yourself.”
“Silence is God’s first language.”
Sometimes Jesus went off by himself to be alone and to pray. How much more do we need to do the same, to go into our inner room, close the door on the outside world with its sights and sounds and interruptions for a time.
Teresa talked about this as recollecting the senses and bringing them within ourselves like bees returning to the hive to make honey.
Let’s find time to be alone today in quiet, even for a few minutes, to go within ourselves where Jesus waits.
Greet him by the name you most love to call him.
Do you have anything you need to say to Jesus? Does he say anything to you?
Maybe you have a conversation with him.
Now sit with him in silence in a comfortable kind of way, the way friends do.
St. Teresa pray for us that we will come to love silence and solitude where we can be alone with God.
Day 6 Talking to Jesus
“But above all things, I want to impress upon you that, when we are speaking to him, we should look at him and remain in his presence, and not turn our backs upon him.”
Have you ever heard the rosary being prayed in church and thought it kind of sounded like an auction underway? It’s so easy to slip into vain repetition – meaning not paying attention to what we are saying or to Whom we are speaking. If the Lord is our friend we want to look at him when we talk to him, to know what we’re saying to him. To be attentive and not mechanical it’s important to slow down, and make conscious contact rather than reciting a formula. Jesus is here wanting us. He is the Friend, the Brother, a Father, our Spouse. St. Teresa advised us to speak to him one way and at other times another. She wants us to speak from the heart whether with our words or with silent love.
Speak to the Lord today, either in the words of a set traditional prayer, your own words, or in quiet attentiveness. In all of these keep the eyes of your soul on him, present within you, listening to you and loving you.
Day 7 Determined determination
St. Teresa you faced so many trials along the path of your spiritual life. Sometimes you laughed at threats like the Inquisition being suspicious of your work and ways. Other times like when a spiritual director thought your prayer experiences were from the devil you cried and you wanted to die and were afraid to be alone.
But God blessed you all the more with the consolations you were told to reject.
At times you even gave up prayer, feeling unworthy.
You dealt with other people’s fears and resentments toward you, opposition and obstacles. Somehow you accomplished all that the Lord asked of you. Once you knew what it was to pray with satisfaction, and once you truly knew the presence and love of God you were unwilling to ever give up prayer again.
You urged us on, reminding us that life is like one night at a bad inn and the prize, Christ himself was worth anything at all we could go through to get to him. You called this single minded persistence determined determination. Pray for us as we make our way inward and ultimately to Heaven, that we will proceed with “determined determination” as you did. Lead us straight into the Heart of Jesus.
Day 8 Holy Mary
It seems to me that there is no better teacher for prayer than the glorious Virgin.”
”Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.” Luke 2:19
Mary had a listening heart, attentive to every sign of God’s will and inspiration. Immaculately conceived and free from spiritual impediment she had a clarity of perception and relationship with God. She had one great visitation by the Angel Gabriel but we have no record of any visions and extraordinary signs she received otherwise. Mary live by faith as we do, living an ordinary life that was nevertheless quietly extraordinary.
In her heart she pondered and treasured the Word of God himself within herself, then in his daily presence, and remained United with him just as much in spirit as he began his ministry.
Teresa assimilated Mary’s spirit of contemplation, cherishing the Lord within, remaining attentive and united to him at all times. This is why Teresa’s Order of Discalced Carmelites sees Mary as Mother. Sister and Queen, and our primary devotion to her is meditation in the heart, contemplative prayer, perceiving God as within ourselves.
Oh beautiful Flower of Carmel, holy and singular, who brought forth the Son of God, ever still remaining a pure Virgin, assist us in our necessity! Show us that thou art Our Mother! Our Lady if Mt. Carmel, pray for us. .
Day 9 Love
”Amor saca amor.” Love draws out love.
Prayer leads us into union with God and union with God fills us with love, his love becoming ours. Teresa taught us that we should “make many acts of love.” She knew that love was active and effective, more than emotion it blossomed into friendship and service and compassion. The love of God is transformative and the more we pray the more we see that love of others deepens our prayer and prayer deepens the love with which we serve and our desire to serve.
Not only that but prayer becomes almost indistinguishable from love. Prayer becomes love and love becomes prayer.
St. Teresa pray for us and lead us into the depths of love with God. Brighten our way along the Royal Road of the spiritual life. Help us to truly know the Lord we love and live for. Remind us that love is both the means and the goal of this journey. We wish you a happy feast day and we pray for all the intentions you have for the Church, for priests, for the sanctification of the people of God, that Jesus will have the best and trustiest of friends and that we will be among them, that he will be followed and loved and praised and known by all of us. In your special honor we ask all of this of the Lord and in the sweet Name of Jesus.
St. Teresa pray for us. Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, pray for us.
This summer I finished my manuscript for a new book. The working title is Pray Like Teresa; how to pray the Prayer of Recollection of St. Teresa of Avila. The publisher will decide the official title. I agonized a lot writing it but that seems to be part of my creative process unfortunately. It was also my solace during a stressful summer as it turned out to be.
When I have a project on I continually “write” in my head until it’s finished. Then it’s hard for me to stop messing with it and to stop thinking about it all the time. I enjoyed St. Teresa’s accompaniment during the months of working on this little book for her. I hope she is happy with it.
The book is short, only 15,000 words, about half the length of my first one, Come to Mary’s House; spending time with Our Blessed Mother. It is also more instructional than Come to Mary’s House. I would describe the general vibe of the book as St. Teresa with a Shawn twist. I tried to stay absolutely true to Tersa’s teachings and to work in my own Teresian spirituality and experience as well.
An important goal I had for this book was to help everyday Catholics and others to get to know Teresa’s teachings in a friendly way. I included St. Teresa’s struggles and sense of humor along with her teachings on the Prayer of Recollection and her basic foundational teachings that underpin it. I hope for the reader to see that contemplative prayer is for everyone and that this method of prayer is one anyone can do.
I also wanted to show why contemplative prayer is desirable, not only for the growth of the person who prays but for the good of the Church and the whole world. In this way I believe deepening inner prayer and contact with God, friendship with Jesus, and the practice of a life of prayer are urgent necessities in our world today and for the renewal of the Church.
A lot of people may be intimidated by Teresa of Avila because of her profound mystical experiences, because she is the “Doctor of Prayer,” and such a great figure of Catholic spirituality. Maybe they had not thought of reading her works before because they were written about 500 years ago and they assume she is inaccessible and too Medieval to be understandable or applicable to their lives.
I hope the reader will find that St. Teresa was also very human, witty, funny, practical and grounded. Her wisdom is relevant to anyone wanting to live the spiritual life, to grow in prayer, to this day. I hope I have provided a simple way to take up this prayer that Teresa said the Lord himself taught her, to anyone who picks this book up.
I think it would be a perfect book to take to Adoration with you, enriching your prayer in that hour with Jesus, or to keep by the place you like to sit when you pray daily. One could easily read a section each day and try the part of the prayer that section suggests.
I intend to encourage everyone who reads this book to try the prayer, to stick with it, along with giving practical ideas to help them be consistent.
I arranged it as an introduction to Teresa herself, and then I played out reflectively her basic discoveries about prayer such as friendship with Jesus, his Sacred Humanity, and God being experienced as within us.
Then I wrote a section about each step of the prayer and how to do it, each one headed by a quote from Teresa or from Scripture.
I allowed myself the pleasure of writing about the effects of the prayer as well and let myself get poetic about those but not overly so I hope. I wanted to communicate the beauty and joy of intimate love of God.
I am hoping this book will appeal to the everyday Catholic who may be being called by God to cast their nets into the deep or at least the deeper or even a little bit deeper. Whether the reader takes up everything in the book as part of their daily prayer life or not I hope reading it will improve their prayer life and their relationship with the Lord at least a little. I think it will.
My parish is primarily young people in college. They are remarkably devout, however. I can imagine some of them being interested in this book. I thought of them while I was writing, but also of people my own age or so (I’m 56) who at this time of life may be more interested in contemplation and want to give it daily time. I want it to speak to anyone who looks through it.
I turned in my manuscript to Our Sunday Visitor on Assumption Day, a few days early. But I thought it was a good way to honor Our Lady and St. Teresa, whose habit (the Carmelite habit) she wore.
Bethany Hang Out 