Bethany Hang Out

As the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus is, at this writing, tomorrow, (Friday June 27th in 2025), and June is traditionally the month of the Sacred Heart, I’ve been pondering the heart’s virtues, such as love, compassion, mercy, solidarity, and empathy especially. This seems an urgent topic to write about right now as so many seem to glory in cruelty, others going so far as to call empathy a supposed “sin”.

I’ve had somebody say to me in response to a plea for compassion for migrants, that we “aren’t supposed to be the Church of ‘nice.” “No, I said, “we are supposed to be the Church of radical love.”

The argument that there is a “sin” of empathy, I likely don’t have to tell most of you, is antithetical to the Gospel. At best this argument is coming from people who are trying to protect their hearts from the pain of empathy or their conscience telling them to do something about it. Maybe it’s to justify the hardness of their hearts. God knows what it is. In any case this is the work of the devil. It’s ugly and contrary to love. Love, remember, is what God is and what we are supposed to be doing. Maybe they’ve re-interpreted what that was supposed to mean to love God and love our neighbor as ourselves. It’s hard to understand how that is possible. However here we are hearing anti-empathy declarations.

This belief that empathy is to be quashed and not nurtured or respected is mostly found in certain corners of ultra-reactionary or hyper-rationalist “theology.” The argument usually goes something like:

“Empathy clouds judgment. It leads us to condone sin in others. It makes us sentimental and irrational.”

One time I came home from work and my teen and pre-teen were playing seriously inappropriate music loudly in the house. I turned it off and made them stand in front of a picture of Our Lady and recite the lyrics to her. They couldn’t. I wonder if people who discourage or disdain empathy can look into the face of Jesus and tell him that nonsense they say to other people. Lacking empathy, campaigning against it is the more likely sin.

The “sin of empathy” crowd say they feel manipulated by calls for empathy. They put labels on goodness like “virtue signaling.” rather than being inspired to act with mercy. Maybe they think the man beset by robbers deserved what he got, that the Good Samaritan was weak, stupid, being taken advantage of. Perhaps they would say that the priest and the levite who passed by without helping were the real heroes of the story. Maybe these are people who have been put-upon too much in life, or feel used when they do something for someone, or they have trouble with boundaries and they threw the “baby out with the bath water,” as my mom would say. I don’t know but they’re wrong and they try to deceive others as well.

How could empathy erase moral clarity? It can only deepen it and fill it out. As Pope Francis said in Dilexit Nos, his encyclical on the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the human heart brings together fragments of ourselves into cohesion. The heart brings together soul, spirit, mind and body, enabling true discernment and understanding. We can’t attempt to cut off parts of ourselves and call that “clarity” or “judgement.” To do that only mutilates us as people, distorting our judgement and endangering our salvation.

Being “cruel to be kind” is an oxymoron when it comes to the suffering of another. It is merely mean, dumb, and contrary to the Gospel.

Empathy is the ability to enter into another’s experience — to “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15), to “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2), to love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31). Jesus constantly showed empathy:

• He wept over Lazarus (John 11:35) and over Jerusalem (Luke 19:41)
  
• He touched lepers, (Matthew 8:22-26) embraced children, (Mark 10:13-16) noticed the suffering no one else saw and did something about it every time.
  
• His Incarnation was an act of ultimate divine empathy — “He took on our infirmities and bore our diseases” (Isaiah 53:4, Matthew 8:17)
• Toward the lowly he never used “tough love.” He reserved that for the powerful alone. He was angry with them for their oppression of others, for their hypocrisy, their legalism that got in the way of mercy, and for their lack of compassion. (See Matthew 23 for some serious rage from Jesus toward religious leaders for these very things).
• He healed a woman with a crooked back and was angry when the Pharisees and Scribes confronted him with doing this on the Sabbath. He hated the way they put strict observance of rules over care and compassion for people. (Luke 13: 10-17)
  

To reject empathy is to reject Christ’s own way of loving. Our Lord never condemned anybody for being too soft hearted; quite the opposite. People were condemned by him for being legalistic without mercy (the Pharisees), for being indifferent to suffering (the priest and Levite in the Good Samaritan story Luke 10:25-37), for being harsh and arrogant instead of humble and compassionate (Luke 18:9–14).

Clearly the “sin of empathy” assertion is a serious distortion of the Gospel – anathema to it. People asking “yeah well who IS my neighbor” and trying to redefine that as people they agree with, like or approve of, are on the wrong path. Don’t listen. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Do not be carried away by strange teaching (Hebrews 13:8 and Ephesians 4:14). If anyone preaches to you a different Jesus than we (the apostles) have, said St. Paul, let them be accursed (Galatians 1:8-9, 2 Corinthians 11:4).

You cannot love God and hate your brother or sister. That would make you a liar. (1 John 4:20)

The intentions of Pope Leo XIV for the month of June are “that the world will grow in compassion.” He says, “Now is the time for love.”

It seems to me there is a battle of good and evil happening, a fight for the soul of the world. I don’t think I usually talk like this. But this anti empathy stuff is the devil. Resist him, solid in your faith. (1 Peter 5:8)

Jesus teaches us that it’s not enough just to resist evil. We have to pray for, bless and love those in the grip of it. We have to shine our light of love and compassion for all to see. And we need to grow in the virtues of the heart ourselves.

Jesus, gentle and humble of Heart, make our hearts like unto thine.