“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
I was going through a difficult time when I was nineteen. It was made more difficult by the fact that I was not any good at processing emotions or dealing with things in helpful ways. I was still learning. I called a mentor of mine crying. She said to go for a walk and think of five things I was grateful for. I didn’t understand but I was a mess so I did as she asked. I don’t remember what I was grateful for in the end. I mostly remember that being grateful for the smallest things and keeping them in mind as I walked lifted the dark cloak I felt like I was wearing by at least a few pounds.
In the many years since that time I have learned that gratitude helps not only in dark times, but even in the midst of the very darkest of times. Not only that but it seems to fix a lot of problems. It may be that the slight change in perspective helps us see with more clarity and makes problems appear smaller than they did when we were freaking out. It is a great help in relationships. Appreciating people is an important glue holding us close to one another.
I haven’t forgotten the bad things that have happened to me in life, at least not the big ones. But I have made a habit of gratitude to the point that, as I recently noticed, when I wake up I usually smile at God as soon as I am conscious. (How long has this been going on?) Generally I’m not elated much. Sometimes I am really worried about something and sometimes I have anxiety or I get depressed. However the smile is real and at the same time habitual. I am not sure anymore which came first.
I know that when I am feeling out of sorts, uneasy or upset, that one of the best tools in my tool box is to say, “OK what am I grateful for?” Sometimes the things I am grateful for are only things like “Well I’m grateful it’s not worse,” or “I’m grateful for the trees,” or “At least we’re not dead.” Sometimes I laugh at myself that those things are all I can think of. But they are still good things as well as real things. It’s a start.
A priest I went to Confession to, when I had just confessed having lost my temper with my family, had a gracious penance for me. If you’re local I bet you know which priest this is. Maybe he gave you the same one. He said he wanted me to go out into the main church and take up my rosary. “On each bead thank God for something. Keep going until you have been all the way around the rosary.” I think he also told me to end with an Our Father and three Hail Marys. I had been upset when I had driven to the church. But by the time I finished my penance I was smiling. I even kind of wanted to keep going another round. I didn’t though. You’re not supposed to double your own penance. You’re supposed to just complete what you were given.
So if your’e upset or in a bad mood today, if you got bad news, or if you watched the news and lost your peace, go for a walk. While you are walking, think of five things you are grateful for. When you get back, write them down. I’ve advised this to friends having a hard time before. I usually get a good report about how it went. This also helps if you’re angry with someone you love. Think of five things you are grateful for about them.
Try it. Tell me how it goes. Or you could try Fr. Brian’s gratitude beads idea with your rosary.
Maybe you can imagine you are putting flowers at the altar of God in Heaven. After all he deserves them. And he usually ends up pouring them into your lap. He loves doing that.
Bethany Hang Out 