Shawn Chapman is the mother of two young adult daughters, enthusiastic grandmother of three small children, a Discalced Secular Carmelite and writer. She is the Catholic Columnist for Bryan-College Station Eagle Newspaper and a Care Giver and author of the book Come to Mary's House, spending time with Our Blessed Mother from Our Sunday Visitor, available anywhere books are sold. She likes hanging out with friends, reading, and cooking awesome vegan food.
After my husband Bob was diagnosed with a grade 4 brain tumor and we found out it was glioblastoma multiform, we went in our room and closed the door and sat on the bed staring. We had been so positive and hopeful. We had laughed in the hospital and kept our chins up. But this was terrible news. After a while I said, “What do you want to do? What do we do?” And he said, squeezing my hand, “We love, we walk on.” I smiled at him. “What else is there?” That’s right. That’s all anybody’s got. We love, we walk on.
My husband Bob Chapman died 12 years ago. His walk with cancer was heroic and inspiring. He continued to love and serve others as he fought cancer. He bloomed creatively. He started painting. He played guitar and sang every day for as long as his arm would still work for him. He continued to learn and discover. He deepened his relationships. He came to love God.
Bob was a real person. We had fights. He could be such a jerk. He had a hard time adjusting to not being able to talk at work and he felt inadequate and angry. It didn’t help that the steroids he had to take sometimes made him want to fight his friends. It actually makes me smile to remember his faults and the times he was mean and stubborn. He wasn’t perfect at all.
He didn’t pretend to feel any other way than how he felt. He felt all the same things everyone does going through cancer and facing death. But he did it. He loved and he walked on.
I think that is exactly what we have to do now. It’s actually kind of hard.
if you’re dealing with a profound loss, the after effects of tragedy or post traumatic stress you may be feeling spiritually dead. Maybe you think you’ve lost your faith or that God has left you. It may be helpful for you to know there are neurological reasons for this apparent loss of your spiritual senses.
When there is a traumatic event or a terrible loss in our lives, our brains are actually affected. Trauma can disrupt the brain’s ability to process spiritual experiences by affecting its prefrontal cortex, amygdala, hippocampus, and temporal lobes. These areas are also involved in emotional regulation, memory, and our sense of self, even our feeling of connection with something greater than ourselves. Dysfunction in these regions can lead to a disconcerting loss of or distortion in a person’s spiritual life. It’s difficult for us to feel God with us, or to reach the peace we used to find in prayer and the practice of our faith.
The prefrontal cortex is responsible for self-reflection and focus. It helps us in practices like contemplative prayer and meditation by supporting awareness and attention. When this part of the brain is dealing with trauma we can’t seem to relax. We may feel void of any spirituality at all. Even the sacraments we believe in feel oddly empty as if we are merely spectators. Everything may seem meaningless to us now because the brain is preoccupied with stress and survival due to its injuries from trauma.
The amygdala and hippocampus process emotions, especially fear and joy. It gives us a sense of our life stories, of our own history. Spiritual experiences often evoke intense emotions and build on a relationship with God that we have developed over time. Trauma can even shrink the hippocampus . It may be hard to remember the love we once knew with God. Without this memory of the lived experience of God’s love and mercy, it’s hard to trust the Lord or that he is still there at all.
With post traumatic stress the amygdala becomes hyperactive, keeping our brains in a state of fear and hypervigilance. We might also feel emotionally overwhelmed and dysregulated making daily life difficult let alone communion with God.
The temporal lobes of the brain are associated with mystical experiences, and our perception of religious imagery. They also help us integrate our sensory experiences in life into spiritual meaning. Sustaining trauma can cause either overactivation or underactivation of the temporal lobes. This can lead to either intense visions or else fear-based religious thoughts. On the other hand, we may feel emotionally and spiritually blank. Where is God?
“God my God, why have you forsaken me?” Mark 15:33-34
Our anterior cingulate cortex helps us feel empathy and compassion. It’s also involved in the regulation of emotions and our sense of the Divine.The damage of trauma can impair the ACC. We may feel lost, cut off emotionally from our friends. We feel empty and alienated from people and God.
“Friend and neighbor you have taken away.
My one companion is darkness.” Ps. 88:18
The insula processes sensations and emotions, contributing to a sense of the nearness of God or a feeling of transcendence during prayer or meditation.Trauma can impair the functioning of the insula leading to either low body awareness or too much of it. We can feel a strange detachment from our bodies, unaware of even our physical needs. Conversely we may be overwhelmed by physical sensations, making it hard to relax or focus when we want to pray.
The good news is that contemplative prayer and meditation have been shown to be healing and even restorative to these areas of the brain impaired by trauma. Interior prayer practices and meditation can calm the amygdala, improve prefrontal cortex regulation, and enhance the connectivity of the ACC and insula, restoring emotional balance and renewing our sense of connection.
It means a lot to me that Jesus experienced trauma and that he allowed himself to descend into the depths of the abyss of abandonment when he cried out from the cross his desolation.
St. John of the Cross taught about the “Dark Night of the Soul,” a phase of the spiritual life of many Christian contemplatives and mystics, which seems to have similar effects as trauma does on our prayer life. St. John of the Cross wrote that “in the dark night of the soul, bright flows the river of God.” He teaches us that God is nearer than ever before at times we feel he is farthest away. He says to go on “naked faith” and not to give up.
I have found it true that “God is close to the broken hearted, those whose spirit is crushed he will save.” (Psalm 34:18)
So if you are grieving a tragedy, experiencing trauma or post traumatic stress, and your’re having trouble with spirituality as a result don’t blame yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong. Nor have you lost God.
We know Mary and Joseph were holy and faithful people but they still lost Jesus for three days. Maybe you feel bereft but he is still there in the temple of your heart and you will find him again just as they did.
It’s ok to pray in ways you can handle. Don’t hold yourself to what you used to do. For me emotional overwhelm kept me from deeper methods of prayer after a tragedy in my life. I talked to Jesus about it. I told him, “I still love you. I just need you not to come so close for now. Can you sit farther away but still nearby?” So he sat with me but not too close. I chose what felt to me a less personal or emotional method of prayer. I memorized psalms, set prayers or passages from the mystics I love like St. Teresa of Avila and Julian of Norwich. When I could handle it I sat quietly and slowly went over them in my mind as a form of prayer/meditation. Other times all I could do was hold my rosary. These things slowly began to bring me peace again.
My friend Jim had said “the devil will try to kick you when you’re down and darkness tries to overwhelm you at times like this so keep doing the things that are of light: the rosary, going to mass, whatever you can do.” He said that would keep my lamp alight no matter what I was going through. He was right.
And after all:
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5
The first day of “clinicals” for CNA training (Certified Nurse Aide) my class showed up to the nursing home in our white scrubs at 6am. We would do this for three days in a row. We were to shadow the established CNA’s and sometimes follow our teacher around with the class, observe and also try out our skills we had learned in school.
I changed my first few adult diapers that day, with an acute realization of how embarrassing it must be for a patient to have that done until they were used to it. My teacher observed and made suggestions. I tried to make conversation with the people as I served them. It was awkward and weird and I think my face sweated with nervousness but I suppose that’s normal.
One guy I changed was aware and oriented but nonverbal. He graciously let me change him for practice but apparently I made a big mistake. Later in the day I noticed he glared at me whenever he saw me. I found out later that this was because the next time he had peed after I changed him pee went up out of the top of his diaper and got his shirt all wet. With a male patient you have to make sure – er – that there is a downward course for pee. I found him and told him I was sorry about that but he mean mugged me the rest of the time I was there. Oh well.
Later in the break room we had a chance to chat with the CNA’s that worked in the nursing home. To our complete surprise they urged us not to go through with doing this. “She broke her arm,” they said, nudging one of the group, who said, “My arm’s broke, my hearts’ broke, my backs’ broke. It ain’t worth it. It ain’t worth it.” They explained that they loved the patients, and that they each had at least one they were very close to that among themselves they referred to as their baby. “Of course you love them. You have to love them but when they die, it about kills you. “
It was really too late to turn back and we had done too much work and paid our tuition. All of us stayed on and finished our training.
I met some interesting people. There was a married couple who were able to room together. I remember their room had regular furniture in it and looked really cozy. There was a man who had filled his room with books and loved talking to us. There wasn’t time though. There never is. One caregiver has ten patients. By the time you finish getting everyone up and dressed fed changed and cleaned up in the morning it’s time for lunch. I didn’t like how even if one of them was crying there was no time to talk to them and try to help. Someone else in the next room had a physical need to be met. You had to keep going.
i remember one lady liked to play rap on her radio with the volume all the way up. She sat in her wheel chair with her forehead on the speaker with the music blaring all morning until lunch. Sometimes she would really get her head moving. It was impossible not to smile watching her.
Some of the people there were very tragic, very disabled, helpless and alone. It was hard to see that. I wanted to track their families down and yell at them when I heard they seemed to have no one.
Institutions always feel like timeless, placeless places to me, impersonal and eerie in a sense. There’s a lot going on but seemingly little warmth or connectedness. However if you’re there long enough they start to seem more human. Such was the case at the nursing home. I have heard the denizens of nursing homes described as “limp, faceless people in wheel chairs.” It really offended me. It isn’t true. The first time you see someone wheeled into the lobby who seems listless and unaware maybe it seems scary. Maybe they seem practically dead to some people? Lean into the experience, move toward them and not away and like me maybe you’ll find out there is a person there with a lot more going on than you thought. Maybe they are nonverbal or have trouble holding their head up or they’re babbling but that doesn’t mean they can’t receive or even express love. In fact a lot of them had such a need to love that the staff gave them baby dolls to hold. I saw several people carrying baby dolls.
A lady stopped me in the hall and told me how tired she was. “Please I’m so tired. Can you find me a bed?” I didn’t know where her room was and nobody around me knew. So I led her to a vacant room and tucked her into bed. She thanked me. “I worked so hard today,” she said. I said, “I know. You rest now.” I thought to myself that she had probably worked hard all of her life.
One day at lunch I was told to go and hand feed the people at a certain table if they needed it. I sat next to one lady who seemed pretty out of it. I greeted her but I couldn’t get her attention. So I scooped up some food in a spoon and held it up to her mouth. She looked at me and then grabbed a spoon, scooped up some food, and held it up to my mouth. I laughed. “Well you showd ME,” I told her. Apparently she could eat on her own if she wanted to.
I met a saintly man during that few days who became a friend. His name was Jim. I’ve written about him before.
I decided during those days that I was not going to work in a nursing home. The pay was only a couple dollars more an hour than minimum wage. I wanted the opportunity to spend more time with people I helped. I also like a less rushed kind of day. However, I would go back many times to that nursing home. I took my final exam there. But I also spontaneously went over there to visit because it made me happy. if I was in a sad mood I would stop by and hang out in the lobby and watch a checker game. Or just hug people. Or go pray a rosary and have some coffee with my friend Jim. Going there always made my day.
“We need no wings to go in search of Him, but have only to look upon Him present within us.”
St. Teresa teach me how to find Jesus within myself where you say he is enthroned in the center of my heart. Show me how to go within, to see his beauty, know his tenderness. You overcame impediments from the world, and reluctance of your own, to seek him and keep him company with growing love and joy. Lead me in the first steps onto the Royal Road of prayer meant for me, so that I may walk in the glow of your lamp held high to light my way.
Pray now a slow, attentive Our Father.
Day 2 The Sacred Humanity of Jesus
“Never set aside the Sacred Humanity of Christ. To do so is to lose your anchor.”
We are not Angel spirits as St. Teresa pointed out. We are human. We need a hug. We need to know that Jesus had and has hands and feet, had to blow his nose sometimes, that he sweated over his work, that his feet were often dirty in his sandals from all that walking he did, that he cried, that he laughed that he needed his friends as well as time alone. He knows all the stars by name but he also knows and cares about every tear we shed. He is glory beyond glory but when he takes our hands we can feel that they are work roughened and warm. You can trace your thumb along the deep scar in his palm.
Let yourself be captured by his eyes; dark and lovely. Ask him now: Jesus be real to me.
Day 3: Friendship with Christ
“It is a great thing to have experienced the friendship of Jesus Christ, because the friendship of His Majesty is full of love and reward.”
St. Teresa’s spirituality is rooted in friendship with Jesus, which implies intimacy, informality, and mutuality. She cautioned us not to be irreverent toward the Lord. She often called him “Your Majesty” when she spoke to him. At the same time she had a complete trust in his love and regard for her as his friend, his dear friend, a friend he trusted and loved to be with. She loved him back in a deeply personal way. She strove to bring her loving attentiveness to his presence into all that she did throughout the day, and to make time to be alone with him in conversation or sweet silence.
Jesus no longer calls us servants but friends. Try thinking of him as the Friend who you know loves you and who you love back.
Make friends with Jesus. Teresa says the best way to start is to ask him humbly for his friendship.
Here he is. Ask him now.
Day 4: Come into the castle of your soul
“I began to think of the soul as if it were a castle made of a single diamond or of very clear crystal, in which there are many rooms, just as in Heaven there are many mansions.”
“The door of entry into this castle is prayer and meditation.”
Oh Teresa what a beautiful vision you had of what I look like inside and Who lives there!
Help me to find my way to the Lord within. Show me how to open the beautiful doors of my heart to see the One I love so intensely. I want to sit at his feet. I want to be in his arms against his Sacred Heart listening to its beating.
Call to me Lord, draw me, help me to love you truly, to be all yours, to listen to you, know you, to walk through the rooms of the castle seeking your hand.
Let me hear your voice and see your face for your voice is sweet and your face is beautiful.
Day 5 Solitude and silence
”Settle yourself in solitude, and you will
come upon him in yourself.”
“Silence is God’s first language.”
Sometimes Jesus went off by himself to be alone and to pray. How much more do we need to do the same, to go into our inner room, close the door on the outside world with its sights and sounds and interruptions for a time.
Teresa talked about this as recollecting the senses and bringing them within ourselves like bees returning to the hive to make honey.
Let’s find time to be alone today in quiet, even for a few minutes, to go within ourselves where Jesus waits.
Greet him by the name you most love to call him.
Do you have anything you need to say to Jesus? Does he say anything to you?
Maybe you have a conversation with him.
Now sit with him in silence in a comfortable kind of way, the way friends do.
St. Teresa pray for us that we will come to love silence and solitude where we can be alone with God.
Day 6 Talking to Jesus
“But above all things, I want to impress upon you that, when we are speaking to him, we should look at him and remain in his presence, and not turn our backs upon him.”
Have you ever heard the rosary being prayed in church and thought it kind of sounded like an auction underway? It’s so easy to slip into vain repetition – meaning not paying attention to what we are saying or to Whom we are speaking. If the Lord is our friend we want to look at him when we talk to him, to know what we’re saying to him. To be attentive and not mechanical it’s important to slow down, and make conscious contact rather than reciting a formula. Jesus is here wanting us. He is the Friend, the Brother, a Father, our Spouse. St. Teresa advised us to speak to him one way and at other times another. She wants us to speak from the heart whether with our words or with silent love.
Speak to the Lord today, either in the words of a set traditional prayer, your own words, or in quiet attentiveness. In all of these keep the eyes of your soul on him, present within you, listening to you and loving you.
Day 7 Determined determination
St. Teresa you faced so many trials along the path of your spiritual life. Sometimes you laughed at threats like the Inquisition being suspicious of your work and ways. Other times like when a spiritual director thought your prayer experiences were from the devil you cried and you wanted to die and were afraid to be alone.
But God blessed you all the more with the consolations you were told to reject.
At times you even gave up prayer, feeling unworthy.
You dealt with other people’s fears and resentments toward you, opposition and obstacles. Somehow you accomplished all that the Lord asked of you. Once you knew what it was to pray with satisfaction, and once you truly knew the presence and love of God you were unwilling to ever give up prayer again.
You urged us on, reminding us that life is like one night at a bad inn and the prize, Christ himself was worth anything at all we could go through to get to him. You called this single minded persistence determined determination. Pray for us as we make our way inward and ultimately to Heaven, that we will proceed with “determined determination” as you did. Lead us straight into the Heart of Jesus.
Day 8 Holy Mary
It seems to me that there is no better teacher for prayer than the glorious Virgin.”
”Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.” Luke 2:19
Mary had a listening heart, attentive to every sign of God’s will and inspiration. Immaculately conceived and free from spiritual impediment she had a clarity of perception and relationship with God. She had one great visitation by the Angel Gabriel but we have no record of any visions and extraordinary signs she received otherwise. Mary live by faith as we do, living an ordinary life that was nevertheless quietly extraordinary.
In her heart she pondered and treasured the Word of God himself within herself, then in his daily presence, and remained United with him just as much in spirit as he began his ministry.
Teresa assimilated Mary’s spirit of contemplation, cherishing the Lord within, remaining attentive and united to him at all times. This is why Teresa’s Order of Discalced Carmelites sees Mary as Mother. Sister and Queen, and our primary devotion to her is meditation in the heart, contemplative prayer, perceiving God as within ourselves.
Oh beautiful Flower of Carmel, holy and singular, who brought forth the Son of God, ever still remaining a pure Virgin, assist us in our necessity! Show us that thou art Our Mother! Our Lady if Mt. Carmel, pray for us. .
Day 9 Love
”Amor saca amor.” Love draws out love.
Prayer leads us into union with God and union with God fills us with love, his love becoming ours. Teresa taught us that we should “make many acts of love.” She knew that love was active and effective, more than emotion it blossomed into friendship and service and compassion. The love of God is transformative and the more we pray the more we see that love of others deepens our prayer and prayer deepens the love with which we serve and our desire to serve.
Not only that but prayer becomes almost indistinguishable from love. Prayer becomes love and love becomes prayer.
St. Teresa pray for us and lead us into the depths of love with God. Brighten our way along the Royal Road of the spiritual life. Help us to truly know the Lord we love and live for. Remind us that love is both the means and the goal of this journey. We wish you a happy feast day and we pray for all the intentions you have for the Church, for priests, for the sanctification of the people of God, that Jesus will have the best and trustiest of friends and that we will be among them, that he will be followed and loved and praised and known by all of us. In your special honor we ask all of this of the Lord and in the sweet Name of Jesus.
St. Teresa pray for us. Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, pray for us.
This summer I finished my manuscript for a new book. The working title is Pray Like Teresa; how to pray the Prayer of Recollection of St. Teresa of Avila. The publisher will decide the official title. I agonized a lot writing it but that seems to be part of my creative process unfortunately. It was also my solace during a stressful summer as it turned out to be.
When I have a project on I continually “write” in my head until it’s finished. Then it’s hard for me to stop messing with it and to stop thinking about it all the time. I enjoyed St. Teresa’s accompaniment during the months of working on this little book for her. I hope she is happy with it.
The book is short, only 15,000 words, about half the length of my first one, Come to Mary’s House; spending time with Our Blessed Mother. It is also more instructional than Come to Mary’s House. I would describe the general vibe of the book as St. Teresa with a Shawn twist. I tried to stay absolutely true to Tersa’s teachings and to work in my own Teresian spirituality and experience as well.
An important goal I had for this book was to help everyday Catholics and others to get to know Teresa’s teachings in a friendly way. I included St. Teresa’s struggles and sense of humor along with her teachings on the Prayer of Recollection and her basic foundational teachings that underpin it. I hope for the reader to see that contemplative prayer is for everyone and that this method of prayer is one anyone can do.
I also wanted to show why contemplative prayer is desirable, not only for the growth of the person who prays but for the good of the Church and the whole world. In this way I believe deepening inner prayer and contact with God, friendship with Jesus, and the practice of a life of prayer are urgent necessities in our world today and for the renewal of the Church.
A lot of people may be intimidated by Teresa of Avila because of her profound mystical experiences, because she is the “Doctor of Prayer,” and such a great figure of Catholic spirituality. Maybe they had not thought of reading her works before because they were written about 500 years ago and they assume she is inaccessible and too Medieval to be understandable or applicable to their lives.
I hope the reader will find that St. Teresa was also very human, witty, funny, practical and grounded. Her wisdom is relevant to anyone wanting to live the spiritual life, to grow in prayer, to this day. I hope I have provided a simple way to take up this prayer that Teresa said the Lord himself taught her, to anyone who picks this book up.
I think it would be a perfect book to take to Adoration with you, enriching your prayer in that hour with Jesus, or to keep by the place you like to sit when you pray daily. One could easily read a section each day and try the part of the prayer that section suggests.
I intend to encourage everyone who reads this book to try the prayer, to stick with it, along with giving practical ideas to help them be consistent.
I arranged it as an introduction to Teresa herself, and then I played out reflectively her basic discoveries about prayer such as friendship with Jesus, his Sacred Humanity, and God being experienced as within us.
Then I wrote a section about each step of the prayer and how to do it, each one headed by a quote from Teresa or from Scripture.
I allowed myself the pleasure of writing about the effects of the prayer as well and let myself get poetic about those but not overly so I hope. I wanted to communicate the beauty and joy of intimate love of God.
I am hoping this book will appeal to the everyday Catholic who may be being called by God to cast their nets into the deep or at least the deeper or even a little bit deeper. Whether the reader takes up everything in the book as part of their daily prayer life or not I hope reading it will improve their prayer life and their relationship with the Lord at least a little. I think it will.
My parish is primarily young people in college. They are remarkably devout, however. I can imagine some of them being interested in this book. I thought of them while I was writing, but also of people my own age or so (I’m 56) who at this time of life may be more interested in contemplation and want to give it daily time. I want it to speak to anyone who looks through it.
I turned in my manuscript to Our Sunday Visitor on Assumption Day, a few days early. But I thought it was a good way to honor Our Lady and St. Teresa, whose habit (the Carmelite habit) she wore.
Catholicly speaking October is a month rich with beloved Saints. Tonight we pass from grumpy old St. Jerome to the young sweet spiritual giant St. Therese. Tonight her Basilica in San Antonio has 1900 roses ready for the “mass of the roses..”
There will be roses all over the world tomorrow because of something she said when she was dying at the age of 24; “Oh I will come down! I will spend my Heaven doing good on earth! I will let fall a shower of roses from heaven!” And she will, too. Somewhere in all those roses ready for her feast day, there is one for you. Maybe she is already holding it close to her heart.
I see bumper stickers and social media posts and hear comments about how America should turn back to God and how we should pray for that or enact laws to that effect. Right now a law is being discussed that curriculum in Texas public schools should include Bible stories. Whether that will make people “turn back to God” or not I don’t know. I just have to rave a little bit right now. And here are some questions I think should be considered when we say our nation should “turn back to God.”
When was our nation with God to begin with? When we kidnapped and enslaved Africans for hundreds of years? When we murdered the indigenous peoples for land? When we forced their children into schools away from their parents to rid them of their cultures and languages and otherwise abuse them even to death? Maybe we were with God when we used to have school prayer but practiced corporal punishment? Or when we lynched black men on Saturday and went to church Sunday and never saw the conflict? Maybe we were closer to God during Jim Crow and segregation. Or perhaps when we put Japanese Americans in internment camps. Or maybe it was when women couldn’t own property or vote? Or go to college? Or were basically their husbands’ property? Or when we used to accuse women of being witches and burn them alive? Maybe it was when we used to do nothing about violence against women; when the police would say it was a private matter? Possibly we were the holiest when it was thought that rape was usually the woman’s fault and women lied about it? Or when sexual harassment was just an expected thing women had to put up with?
Maybe we should think about what it means to “turn back to God.” Does it mean saying some words of prayer or calling “Lord Lord?” Or is it living in righteousness and compassion and mercy with God because of our love for him and because his love has filled our hearts to love others?
We will know ourselves by our fruits Hopefully these will be the fruits of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.
Because God is love. And there is no other way to turn to him. It doesn’t mean turning “back” to anything but to keep growing and walking ahead with love for God and neighbor. It means opening our hearts.
Something Zane loved to do was make cookies. This is something we did nearly every day. I used to hold his hand to help him crack an egg and make sound effects for him. He liked that. He used to try to eat the butter and show his enthusiasm for our baking activity by mouthing the bowl. His very favorite part was pouring the mix into the bowl. I used to say, “Here comes your favorite part!” I bought the same cookie mix today and I’m in my kitchen making cookies in spirit with Zane, smiling and chuckling at the parts of our process that I remember.
Well. my granddaughter will be happy and surprised to see cookies when she gets home from school.
Zane was a young nonverbal autistic guy with cerebral palsy that I took care of for the last four years of his life. He died at 20 years old on August 22.
Triumph of the Cross is today. It sounds like “ha ha what a win” but I never think of it that way. I think of intense love, non-violence, humility, sacrifice in the face of indifference, cruel efficiency, fear and profound misunderstanding. The death of the Lord confused Satan a lot because it was something he would never do. He waited for Jesus to come down from the cross and be a lion, challenge him to a fight or a match of wills, anything. I think he even wondered what was wrong with these people around Jesus who either ran away or merely stood by. He had no understanding of love. He is a powerful super intelligent being but humility, love and sacrifice, forgiveness he can’t understand at all. In that moment I don’t think he understood anything. Neither did most people. It’s still a bit of a problem for us, especially the take up YOUR cross part. It’s a big big ask. Only the One who really did that can help us to do such a thing and find the flowers in it. So we have to ask him all the time for that.
Bethany Hang Out 